I finally found a way to channel out my inner most thoughts. Almost forgotten about this blog... I have deleted all the old posts. It doesn't really matter anyways...some things are meant to be kept as memories.
I have no idea if you ever will come across this blog... I hope you will... Someday... These are some of the things you may or may never hear from me.
Where shall we start... Perhaps the silver lining volunteer event? Due to some unforseen circumstances, you asked me to join you at the centre you were assigned to. I was hesitant initially and I was scared actually. But I am glad that I made the choice to go ahead. It is the day you introduced your colleagues to me. A leap of faith.
28 November 2014, our annual dinner and dance... It was my 7th dinner and dance...my most memorable one. I spent a lot of precious time with you on that day. I wish time would stand still for us that day.
5 December 2014, it was really a special day. I asked you out for dinner and you agreed. You have no idea how happy I was. Chilling at Loof... We talked about so many things. Do you know I love to hear about your experiences, I just want to be there for you, whenever you need me. That day we had our first kiss. I never want to forget about that day. The day we kissed. I want to hug you for as long as I could and never let go. I don't want you to suffer and be unhappy again. You deserve to be happy...to smile. I hope to be part of that.
7 December 2014, you gave me a surprise by coming to my office. We kissed again. Again I hoped time just stood still there. I really do.. I was wondering if this will happen again.
12 December 2014, I have done something stupid and I have hurt you. The repercussion was something I wished never had happened. Your texts were not how it used to be. You never say why. I never ask... It just hurts. Really hurts.
13 & 14 December 2014, the painful weekend. You never tell me how you felt after I showed my mum your picture. Maybe you have thoughts about it and never wanted me to know. I guess as much. I know things are hard for you. I don't want to make it harder for you. All I ever want is for you to keep smiling.
Some further thoughts, there are so many times that I wish I never view your instagram. It's painful...really painful. It's ok though. I will bear this pain myself. I don't want to add anymore things to your burden. That's the only way to love you more.
The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them...
Just want you to know I have not given up. It will only happen when you tell me so.
For now, I shall take a step back and love you silently.
No comments:
Post a Comment